Is PG a Narcissist?

Someone highlighted to CT this enlightening online article, “Narcissism in the Pulpit” by Grant Swanson of Power2Serve Ministries, which could help us understand what is going on in CC. We have extracted some note worthy statements from the article which is relevant to us in CC, with Bro Grant's permission. Please go to his ministry website for the full Article.

“Generally most church conflict is caused by carnality, selfishness and ambition (1 Cor 3:3)., Combine these sinful behaviors with an antagonist or two and you can have serious conflict problems as we have discussed earlier. Add selfish ambition to these characteristic in the Senior Pastor and spiritual abuse can be meted out in sinful, and destructive ways.”
This is a must-read article because "When you enter the web of the Narcissist, you leave yourself behind." This could explain the total compliance of our associate pastors, deacons and other leaders. “Hopefully by the time you have finished reading the information within this chapter you should be able to have a clear understanding as to whether or not the problems you are experiencing with your pastor are being caused by Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”


Who is a Narcissist?

"The overall definition of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a combination of severe limitations in understanding other people and their feelings, as well as an excessive pursuit of what are called narcissistic supplies, such as admiration, attention, status, understanding, support, money, power, control, or perfection in some form. While all of us need these supplies in adequate amounts to feel a sense of well being, the narcissist pursues them with an unrelenting desperation and a keen ability to manipulate others. Meanwhile the outer persona of the NPD individual is generally one of confidence and control, alongside a smooth or charming demeanor. As your involvement with the narcissist develops you will notice that the relationship increasingly becomes one-way with you in the primary giving position."
“It is close to impossible (to immediately recognize a narcissist) and that is the secret of their astounding success. Narcissists are good actors. They are adept at charming others, persuading them, manipulating them, or otherwise influencing them to do their bidding.”

The Danger of a Narcissist

"Realize that a narcissistic pastor is a very real danger both to himself and to the church life. According to Dattner Consulting LLC if the NPD pastor is able to accumulate too much power and prestige, and if others in the church are not able to moderate the narcissist’s destructive impulses, success can soon lead to failure. In the narcissists quest to maintain and promote their fragile self-esteem, the NPD pastor can often ignore or deny reality when it presents itself. They will also exploit the organization in order to attain their own goals. Grandiosity can lead to too much risk taking, and fear of failure can at other times lead to too little risk. With this in mind it becomes necessary to establish appropriate boundaries around the areas of finance, relational power over other staff, the board and other leaders appointed by the congregation. Unfortunately fear is the main deterrent to the narcissist—fear of losing his reputation, and fear of consequences which are clearly delineated and carried out when necessary."

The other sections are:
1. How to Identify a Narcissist. This is recommended for church members to read.
2. How to Survive In Relationship with a Narcissist. This is very important for those working with PG especially the associate pastors and the church workers.
3. Around the Board Table. This is especially important for the deacons to read.

Read the full article at:
http://www.power2serve.net/narcissism_in_the_pulpit1.htm


Is PG a narcissist?Go to the link below and complete the check list and you will know.
http://www.power2serve.net/Narcissism%20Checklist.htm
We list here a sample of the symptoms of a Narcissist.
Does PG have any of these symptoms?

1. Self-centered. His needs are paramount and take precedence over the church.
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. Will not offer heartfelt apologies or ask forgiveness.
3. Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault.
4. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others
5. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others
6. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry
7. Pathological lying. Will lie if he thinks it will further his image and if he doesn’t think it will be discovered. When lies are followed up on will imply that the other person is mistaken, and that he never said the lie in the first place
8. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate
9. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities
10. Seldom expresses appreciation unless he is buttering the person up for further use
11. He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks
12. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself
13. Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them
14. Will exaggerate and brag about past accomplishments
15. Will be overly concerned with the ‘image’ of the church building/bulletins etc.